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Welcome /  Blog /  2019-11-doc8 English, not German, will be the EU language

2019-11-doc8 English, not German, will be the EU language

Ursula von der Leyen, the new European Union Commission's chair, as one of her first actions, has announced today that English will remain the preferred language for communications within the EU. Although Brexit is looming, the German language is out. However, the English spoken on the continent has room for improvement, she said, and Chairperson von der Leyen has accepted a four-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (EUnglish for short). In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants in all member states and will resieve this news with joy, as will the insolvensy and bankruptsy world. Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, and improve kross-border koordination and kommunikation, but will enjoy kreditors kommittee's drinking kups of koffee. In the sekond year, the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This seremonial step will make words like “fotograf”, “filantropik” and “foenix” 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new kontinental alfabet under konstruktion kan be expekted to reach the fase where more komplikated and kreative changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben difikult and a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible unatraktive mes of silent “e”s in the language is disgrasful. They would go. By the forth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to desisions such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by “v”. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli ensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru. [reworked 'office joke' of around 2000, when I worked in London]